Defining Moments


  • Elle Jay

Updated: Apr 2


adjective un·apol·o·get·ic \ˌən-ə-ˌpä-lə-ˈje-tik\

: not apologetic

: offered, put forward, or being such without apology or qualification

Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary (on-line)

“Be you,” they say.

“Do you,” they say.

“Be who you are,” they say.

“Be authentic,” they say.

“You’re stronger than you think,” they say.

“You’re confident,” they say.

“Go for it! I want you to be all that you can be,” they say.

“You have my full support,” they say.

So, you do exactly that. You outwardly apply your innate makeup, memorize a large fragment of your scripted purpose, and accept God as your director as you rehearse who you are. Finally, you gain the strength to be exactly who God designed you to be and take the necessary steps to publicly present your authentic self, offering your gifts and talents to the greater world.

…then ready, set, ACTION!

“You’ve changed,” they say.

“Who do you think you are?” they say.

“You’re doing too much,” they say.

“You’re unrealistic,” they say.

“You don’t have enough experience,” they say.

“I don’t think you have what it takes,” they say.

“You’re too this or too that,” they say.

“You should do this or do that,” they say.

“I’m not going to support you (and may even hate on you),” they say.

…or their actions say.

Have you ever been here before? I have.

Fearlessly, I set the stage to showcase another dimension of my authentic self, coined as elle jay leads. It was my time to shine yet my debut was done on God’s time. I publicly broadcasted my God-given gifts to various familiar and unfamiliar audience members. I was committed to this production of faith with God in the leading role and myself as His supporting act. However, while rehearsing my world premiere, I did not recognize that when I pulled back the curtains, I would step forward into the spotlight of disapproval and minimal support from some of the people I hold near and dear to my heart.

I was shocked.

Have you ever been here before?

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where the spotlight is on you to show the world a piece of who you are? Yet, shockingly, some of the ones once seated in the rows of support and encouragement before the curtain was drawn, now become loosely indignant towards who you are and are reclined in seats found in row discouragement, row disapproval or maybe even row envy. Then there might be those individuals who simply boo your audacious pursuit causing you to focus more on what they say and not on what He (God) says.

So, what do we do? More often than not, we bow… drowning out the shouts of “bravo,” and, instead we begin to consider compromising our divinely orchestrated performance in exchange for acting how the people say we should act. Shortly, thereafter, we find ourselves serving in roles that support the interests of God’s people instead of prioritizing our role as His supporting act.

“Living for the approval of people keeps you from the purposes of God. Anytime we are consumed with what people think about us, we tend to forget what God thinks about us… And as long as we’re consumed with the approval of people, we won’t be living for the purposes of God.” – Craig Groeschel

Now, pause.

Ask yourself:

Am I unapologetically who God says I am?

Or, am I apologetically who “they” say I should be?

We should be unapologetically our authentic, true self. And guess what? Everyone will not applaud your unapologetic nature nor your efforts to be a better you in Christ. In fact, they may despise it or make folly of it so we should expect it and always look to God for applause.

We perform before an audience of one so we have to continually focus and refocus our world lens on Him (God) and not them (people).

This blog post is simple.

Being your unapologetic self requires being obedient to God’s purpose for your life and is subject to your willingness to be used by Him largely when others may be in opposition of the direction He gives you. The director of our life speaks, watches, and guides in ways that no one else can. Our obedience to Him without apology will produce unbelievable rewards in His timing. Therefore, it requires patience, humility and confidence to remain on the stage destined for you.

And remember this: God sees and knows us intimately. In fact, He is inside of each of us who believe in Him. You are who you are because God is who He is so do not apologize for what He has placed inside of you.

If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. – John 14: 15-18 New International Version (NIV)

Your greatest gain is living for and pleasing your one audience member, which is God. Your life in submission to God speaks for itself. So, in the words of our beloved First Lady Michelle Obama, captured on an Oprah Winfrey special titled, “First Lady Michelle Obama Says Farewell to the White House,” we should:

…live [our lives] out loud so that people can then see and judge for themselves. Live it out loud. Don’t dial it back. Don’t dilute it. Don’t apologize for it. It speaks for itself.

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